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17 Bizarre Stories History Leaves Out

War is terrible and violent and really just not fun or great. But sometimes some pretty hilarious shit goes down.

Our readers cracked open the Internet to bring you some stories that your history teacher never had the bulging genitals to tell. The winner is below, but first the runners-up ...

17
Entry by snarkycanuck

CRACKEDO OM ANTONIO LOPEZ DE SANTA ANNA 1794-1876 THE NAPOLEON OF THE WEST .1 T AFTER GETTING HIS LEG AMPUTATED DUE TO CANNON FIRE, SANTA ANNA ORDERE

16
Entry by CZM

Hastein was a ruthless 9th century Viking, with his eyes set on the city of Rome. He couldn't penetrate the walls, so instead he showed up on a stretc

15
Entry by SkotLooney

George Washington's inspirational words before crossing the Delaware: Shift that fat ass, Harry. But slowly, or you'll swamp the damned boat.

14
Entry by Phighter

GRACKEDCO CONT In 1910, the Prince of Abyssinia and his dignitaries visited the H.M.S. Dreadnought the British Navyl S most powerful battleship. Sailo

13
Entry by alphamans

CRACKEDOON During the Battle of Chosin Reservoir of the Korean War, the mortar sections of the United States Marine Corps ran out of mortar shells. Th

12
Entry by Cervus

The Lonely Tree of Tenere in Niger was known as the most isolated tree in the world. Surrounded by the Sahara Desert, it was the only tree, and the

11
Entry by dritjon

THE SWISS ARMY ACCIDENTALLY INVADES THE SMALL COUNTRY OF LICHTENSTEIN...T THREE TIMES -THE FIRST TIME, IN 1985, DURING AN ARTILLERY EXERCISE, SEVERAL

10
Entry by NoTolerance

During World War I, a baboon named Jackie was enlisted in the South African Infantry Brigade. Among other things, he would stand at attention and salu

In late December, 1965 as Gemini 6 CRACKED COM (crewed by commander Wally Schirra and pilot Tom Stafford) prepared for retrofire after concluding the

8
Entry by alphamans

On February 2, 1970, a Convair F-106 Delta Dart suddenly entered a flat spin. Pilot Gary Foust was unable to regain control and was forced to eject at

7
Entry by dritjon

THE AUSTRIAN FLEET IMMEDIATELY SURRENDERS AFTER A KETTLE OF SOUP IS SHOT I WAS THE YEAR 1784. AUSTRIA, WHICH CONTROLLED THE SOUTH NETHERLANDS WANTED T

6
Entry by makmende

Anglo-Zanzibar War of 1896 is gen erally consideredto to be the shortest war in history The War started on 26th August at 9 am when 4 British warships

5
Entry by Phighter

Joseph Sepp Bellend Blatter received the Order of the Companions of Oliver Reginald Tambo award for bringing the World Cup to South Africa. However, o

4
Entry by dritjon

HREE POPES WERE ELECTED AT THE SAME TIME AND THEY TRIED TO EXCOMMUNICATE EACHOTHER FROM 1309 TO 1377 THE POPES EXERCISED THEIR PAPACY FROM AVIGNON, FR

3
Entry by snarkycanuck

PICOAZA, ECUADOR 1967 mayoral campaign A foot powder company named Pulvapies ran an ad that read, Vote for any candidate, but if you want well-being

GRAGKEDC While conducting military exercises in 2002. dozen of Royal Marine commandos stormed La Linea (a Spanish beach resort) instead of the Rock of

1
Entry by Ted E.

In 1917, a young Colonel George S. Patton was scouting locations for a Tank Training School in the village of Bourg in France. One day, the village ma

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