Cracked Archive - News

President Trump Will Reportedly Issue 100 Pardons, Commutations During His Last Full Day In Office

Yep, definitely *not* a suspicious move from someone who was impeached twice ...


'Burn After Reading' Predicted Part of This Mess

'The Simpsons' has some stiff competition on its hands in terms of predicting the future....


5 Dumb Garbage Conspiracy Theories Spreading Right Now

2020 is over, but the garbage conspiracies it helped unleash remain.


4 Reasons the Guy Who Runs CNN is a Supervillain (Basically)

Meet the bozo who turned American politics into Game of Thrones.


11 Events That Have Happened As Many Times As President Trump Has Been Impeached

To paraphrase Phineas and Ferb's Evil Dr. Doofenshmirtz --


Brands ... Leave The Slacktivism To Your Personal Accounts

Just as much as a can of Pepsi isn't the cure for racism, a can of Coke isn't a fix for democracy.


Lectern Thief's Lawyer On Explaining That Incriminating Photo: 'I'm Not a Magician'

'But your honor, I only posed for a photo with a stolen podium during a deadly attack on the U.S. capitol!'


'Buffalo Head Guy' Reportedly Hasn't Eaten Since Capitol Attack Arrest, Citing Lack Of Organic Jail Food

'No red M&Ms' requests -- they're for insurgents, too!


Some Douchecanoe Carved 'Trump' Into a Poor Manatee

Make America Great Again ... by mutilating vulnerable marine life?