Florida Schools To Teach Students That Communism Is Evil

Well, folks, it seems Florida Governor and doppelganger to every bully in every 80's high school movie, Ron DeSantis, has gone full "‘murrica f--- yeah" with the state's curriculum. Earlier this week, the legislator signed several bills into law, including one insisting teachers inform their students about the evils of communist and totalitarian governments, and another measure preventing those terrible, liberal universities from even thinking of debunking some “offensive” elements of conservative ideology. 

“Why would somebody flee across shark-infested waters, say leaving from Cuba, to come to southern Florida?" the DeSantis mused, per the AP. "Why would somebody leave a place like Vietnam? Why would people leave these countries and risk their life to be able to come here? he continued. ”It’s important that students understand that."

In the state's K-12 civics curriculum, much of this will come in the form of what lawmakers are dubbing “portraits in patriotism,” including “first-person accounts of victims of other nations’ governing philosophies who can compare those philosophies with those of the United States," adding a nice helping of guilt to the repetitive lesson that the USA is irrefutably the greatest nation in the world. 

This notion will also carry over into higher education, a move that the lawmaker says prevents universities from “basically” becoming "hotbeds for stale ideology." In a move that probably made “WAP” cover artist Ben Shapiro jizz his pants, the state has also implemented legislature essentially simping for conservative viewpoints, insisting institutions embrace ideas “they may find uncomfortable, unwelcome, disagreeable, or offensive” – not-so-subtly hinting at right-wing ideals. 

“It used be thought that a university campus was a place where you'd be exposed to a lot of different ideas. Unfortunately now, the norm is really these are more intellectually repressive environments,” the Governor said of the bill. “You have orthodoxies that are promoted and other viewpoints are shunned, or even suppressed. We don't want that in Florida.”

Although students will be able to tell you everything about why American capitalism is number one and every argument in favor of the Republican political platform, they will notably lack insight on critical race theory. Less than two weeks before these anti-communism measures were implemented, Florida's education board decided that the notion of examining systemic racism through the lens of the law and the idea of equality was just too spicy, a move Education Commissioner Richard Corcoran said was designed to help prevent teachers from “indoctrinating” students. Because nothing says indoctrination like learning that racism is bad!

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