Trump Fleeing After Being Mocked Is Objectively Funny

In a twist literally anybody with a rudimentary understanding of Trump's personality could see coming, the Self-Appointed Godhead of the Anti-Snowflake, Anti-Safe Spaces, Pro-Locker Room-Talk Tough Guy Society recently fled a meeting of global leaders because they mildly mocked him.

And dear citizens, I'd like you to please put your ideological differences aside so you can see how objectively hysterical that is. Of course, OF COURSE, the stern-talking truth-teller leading the charge against wimps who are "too sensitive" would storm out of a global summit because a video leaked showing a group of other world leaders, some of whom are no more respected than he (see: Boris Johnson, who is basically a straight-to-video Mary Poppins villain) all laughing at his buffoonery. It's almost too on the nose. If this exact scene were imagined by a novelist, critics would call it "an idealized display of hypocrisy that only highlights the story's two-dimensional characterization. And that the scene where he had toilet paper stuck to his shoe as he boarded Air Force One was preposterous."

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Like, this entire scenario could be re-skinned as a children's movie where Trump is the mean old sweatshop magnate threatening to close an orphanage. The whole movie, he tells them to stop whining about how miserable he's made their lives, and then, in the end, an orphan calls him "a man of ill repute," and he runs off crying. The children laugh and cheer, the orphanage is saved!

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You have to understand how objectively, unquestionably, indisputably funny this is. Wildly depressing, sure -- hey, did you see that evil fucker is cutting food stamps? -- but we'll take it! There's absolutely no other way to see this other than as a series of comedic beats that resolve themselves in a hacky but nonetheless poetic ending. It's so goddamn hacky that one day this will all be an HBO miniseries and people on Twitter will debate as to whether the showrunner took too much creative license with their portrayal of President Shouty McLoud as a paragon of buffoonery. A battalion of actual historians will author threads upwards of 15 tweets long, some filled with video evidence, others with snapshots of news website headlines, to prove that the show presented it exactly as it happened. Here's to living in interesting times?

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Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com. Check out his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. And now you can listen to the first episode on Youtube!

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