5

Twitch Is Punishing Streamers For Nonexistent NSFW Behavior

For a place where people can show off whatever, whenever, to whoever, Twitch has some pretty strict rules against sex and nudity. In the last few months, however, the platform has stopped enforcing these rules in favor of indiscriminately banning random streamers for being "sexually suggestive," telling them to stick it where the sun don't shine if they don't like it. (Just don't stream it.)

In September, a user called "Quqco" was suspended for the heinous crime of ... streaming while dressed like Chun-Li from Street Fighter. The outfit wasn't offensive by any measure, but the algorithm disagreed. If anything, her cosplay was the most tasteful the internet has likely ever seen.

There's also "Fareeha," who was hit with a serious warning for broadcasting while wearing "underwear or lingerie." Of course, she did no such thing. The "offending" stream was of her working out at a gym while dressed in a sports bra and baggy shorts. There are so many examples that we don't have space to talk about them all. One was banned for drawing too many butts, one was banned for bending over while baking a cake, one was temporarily banned for uploading an emote of someone ripping their pants open and exposing their buttocks. That someone? SpongeBob SquarePants.

4

A Lot Of Companies Censored Themselves Over The Hong Kong Protests

In October 2019, video game publisher Blizzard removed Ng Wai Chung (aka "Blitzchung") from a professional Hearthstone Grandmasters tournament after he used a post-match interview to express support for the protests in Hong Kong. In response, the company was taken behind the woodshed by basically everyone. Gamers launched boycotts, and politicians like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Marco Rubio chastised Blizzard in a letter which proves bipartisanship is still possible in this bizarre political climate.

"Don't think we've forgiven you for nerfing warlocks, either!"

After Blizzard's SNAFU, people started paying attention to other companies seeking to appease China by tamping down on support for the protests. Google removed a game (The Revolution Of Our Times) from their app store which allowed users to role-play as Hong Kong protesters. When they were questioned about this, Google claimed it was taken down because it was associated with a "sensitive event." According to The Wall Street Journal, however, it's more likely that the game was taken down because China asked them nicely.

3

MIT Was In Bed With Jeffrey Epstein

In September 2019, it was revealed that the Massachusetts Institute of Technology accepted $800,000 from Jeffrey Epstein over the course of 20 years, even after he was outed as a sex monster. The majority of this money went to their Media Lab, which at the time was overseen by Dr. Joichi Ito, who later admitted that he'd stayed over at several properties owned by Epstein in New York, the Caribbean, and New Mexico.

In the aftermath of these revelations, Dr. Ito resigned his post and MIT kicked off a hand-wringing forgive-us-please media tour that continues to this very day. Except MIT wasn't a passive recipient of Epstein's donations. According to Signe Swenson, who worked at the Media Lab for several years, the institute actively sought donations from Epstein. And when the heat eventually got to be too much, they attempted to cover it up by wiping all evidence from the lab's computer network.

2

WeWork's CEO Imploded In The Dumbest Way Possible

WeWork offers rent-by-the-day office space to lonely freelancers, contractors, and businesspeople. It's not the sexiest business, sure, but it's steady, stable, dependable, and oh god it's so dull. Or at least it was up until a few months ago, when everything started imploding with the hilarity and momentum of a flaming can of pop-up snakes rolling down a hillside.

It all started in August 2019, after founder Adam Neumann attempted to take the company public at a valuation of $47 BILLION. That obviously failed, but bear in mind that we're only at the beginning of the story. It gets wilder.

WeWorkPictured: offices that were valued at an average of over $80 million per location.

1

Elon Musk Hired A Convicted Fraud To Investigate "Pedo Guy" And Got Bilked

Elon Musk is currently in a lot of legal trouble after slandering cave rescuer Vernon Unsworth as a "pedo guy" -- adding in a later email interview with BuzzFeed that Unsworth was a child rapist and married his wife when she was only 12 years old.

Robyn Beck-Pool/Getty ImagesA serious legal accusation which he decided to take to Twitter instead of the police, because this is the world we've chosen for ourselves.